Un'hired Help!

The jewelry making business is BOOMING.  Not only is the jewelry making project, the WHOLE project is booming!!!

I would have never thought that we would have sold (or have people willing to sell) so many pairs of earrings, for little ol' me!  To date, we've made just over 200 pars of earrings.  Out of 200 pairs, we've sold or have shipped to people in groups of 10, 15 or 20 pairs to sell, 172 pairs of earrings....WOW.

I am SO thankful for my friends who have pitched in and continue to pitch in to help, encourage, buy & dontate their hard earned money and time!!!  THANK YOU for making this project a booming success (so far, and we've only just begun)!!

First off, Dianne has helped in every way possible.  I can't even describe the gratitude I have for Dianne in my life! She has donated supplies, driven with me to get supplies, encouraged me, picked me up when I was down, and keeps offering her time to come back to help make more earrings with me twice (making close to 100+ pairs of earrings in total). 

Secondly, Brenda - an AMAZING woman with a huge heart!  She invited me into her home to make earrings with her girls TWO weekends in a row.  The first weekend we pumped out 67 pairs of earrings and now I'm going back this Saturday (that has left me scrabling to find enough supplies) to pump out I'm sure lots more than 67.

Thank you so much for those who have purchased earrings and those of you who have offered/agreed to sell earrings for my cause!  I am touched by your generosity of giving yourselves like this! 

And then there is one special friend (I won't name names, but if you read you KNOW who you are), who is gathering women from her church to sew sacs for our rice distribution.... WOW, absolutely AMAZING!!!  Thank you so much!!!

And then there is ANOTHER special friend (I won't name names, but if you read you KNOW who you are), not only did she buy some earrings - but she also donated $40 extra dollars for the rice and beans....WOW, absolutely AMAZING (again). 

I am completely speachless, thankful and utterly overwhelmed with all your generosity....THANK YOU doesn't even come close to describing the JOY and HAPPINESS my heart feels through all of this project.  THANK YOU!

Up to this point, I have been photographing and indexing ALL of the earrings. THIS takes double the time as it does to make the earrings and bag them....I just can't keep up.  For those of you who wish to buy online, I will keep 20-30 pairs posted on my facebook album but I have to just start pumping out earrings to get them distributed NOW while people are crying for them.

Once I get caught up on earring distribution........my next venture is beaded key chains (to get guys involved to purchase) and bracelets & necklaces (1st - because many have asked for it and 2nd - for those of you who can not wear earrings due to allergic reactions).

So I must get back the production lines to keep up with our demand....STAY TUNED and thanks again for the overwhelming support!

Lots of new earrings made today and posted - Jan 22, 2010

Check out my facebook photo album to see all the new earrings made today (we made 70 in total)!


If you'd like to purchase 1, 2 or sell 10 for me, advise me, tag your name to each of the pairs you'd like (but I can not guarantee you will receive the exact items) and pay for the few you buy.  BUT remember if you're interested in selling 10 pairs for me, you get to keep one FREE pair and you do not have to pay the shipping.


Speak fast because they are selling as fast (actually a little faster) than I am making them!!1

Earring SALES

I have a DEAL for you.

As most of you have probably read (if you read this blog), we are selling earrings (and I mean TONNES of earrings) to raise money for RICE & BEANS (click here to read) in Haiti at New Missions.

OK...so here goes:

• If you agree to sell a minimum 10 pairs of earrings, I will give you 1 pair of earrings FREE (as a thank you for selling them for me) AND your shipping will be FREE.

Here's how it will work:

• I'll ship you 11 pairs of earrings, you agree to sell them and spread the word.  You keep a free pair of earrings (as a thank you for spreading the word) for yourself or a gift, then send me the money only once you've sold the earrings (before November 15, 2010)
• If you can not sell the earrings before Nov 15, 2010, ship them back to me along with any money from the ones you DID sell and I will be FOREVER grateful!

I'm already doing this with 3 others (well, once I have the earrings made).....how about you???  Would you be willing?

If you have any questions, please email me at tara.morin473@gmail.com or leave me a comment.  I will contact you for more information.

Thanks for all your support....it's quite overwhelming at this point but VERY encouraging.  The more YOU do, the more you inspire ME to do.

#2 EAR RINGS FOR SALE: $5 each (all sales go to food or Haiti)

Upate Jan 20:  Many new designs being posted later today.

Note: All earrings listed here may 'not' be avaiable. Check out my facebook photos (you do not need to be on facebook to do this) for an up-to-date list of what is available. CLICK HERE.

Haiti Earthquake - New Missions

A must see video about the work New Missions does.  

Hear from team members how they served before the earthquake hit. All of this footage was captured between Saturday, January 9 - Friday, January 15, 2010. http://www.newmissions.org/ serving in Haiti since 1983.
video by Bob Scott | stills by Dale Stroud | editing by Craig Duddles

This video has left me speachless, in tears and even more inspired!  How about you?

EAR RINGS FOR SALE: $5 each

Update (Jan 20):  Click here for 2nd posting with more earrings designs

Note:  All earrings listed here may 'not' be avaiable.  Check out my facebook photos (you do not need to be on facebook to do this) for an up-to-date list of what is available.  CLICK HERE.

Earrings for sale for $5 each (Canadian Funds)

(plus shipping - regular post for an irregular pkg $1.22 within Canada, those of you in the US contact me)

All sets are hand made and all materials have been donated, which means:

100% of the sales go directly to buying

RICE and BEANS

for

families in HAITI

Email me your address and I'll ship you a pair or 2 today!

tara.morin473@gmail.com.

Upate Jan 20: Many new designs being posted later today.

Meet Jully

I had been toying with the idea of sponsoring another child through New Missions for the last couple of months.  It just never felt like the right time.

Once I committed to going to Haiti, I thought maybe this was the right time...but still, it just didn't happen.

Once we heard the news of the earthquake on Jan 12 - I knew NOW, was the right time.

So I stalked the New Missions 'sponsor a child search', and found a few children I fell in love with, waited a day, then when I went to sponsor them I realized they had both got sponsored.  I continued to stalk this page of children available for a few days and Jully's eye's finally spoke to me!  So meet our newest sponsor daughter (and I think our last - we are up to 3 sponsor children now, Claudia from Guatemala, Sekalema from Uganda and now Jully from Haiti).

Meet:  Jully Mealingha Sufrin

She is in Grade "PK2" and is just adorable!  Her her birthday is on Oct 28, 2004 and is just adorable!  She is from the Village of Macombre, Haiti, attends school at Brache and is just adorable!   I heard that this village is only a few miles from where the New Missions compound is, and where we'll be travelling in December!  I can't wait to meet her and squeeze her!  Oh and did I mention that she is just adorable?!

But look at her sad little eyes.  I can't wait to meet her and see nothing but BIG smiles on her precious little face!  

Dianne is so sweet.....she already had a 'baby shower' for Jully.  She got a grocery bag FULL of clothes for her already! 

I'm going to be writing her a letter this week in hopes to find out more about her and her family........can't wait!

Isn't she just ADORABLE? 

We are THRILLED to welcome Jully to our family of sponsor children!

Dangerous Surrender, Kay Warren (what spoke to me)

I don't even know where to begin. This book is changing my life as we speak.  I just finished this book after a week of intense reading, sharing and relating to what Kay speaks of in the book (though through a completely different set of circumstances).  I have NO idea why I picked up this book next, considering it's been on my 'to read' shelf (along with another 6-8 books) since August of 2008 - so why NOW???  I have no idea, but I feel God working in my life now, more than ever and I can't even begin to describe how amazing it feels.  My heart is on fire for a passion I've had for so long, so I'm saying "YES, YES, YES" and the 'picture will slowly develop itself for me'.

To be honest....I am scared, excited, thrilled, anxious, confident, encouraged, confident and feel more alive, happy, fulfilled, whole, grateful and soulfuly satisfied about SO many aspects of this change in me but I really think this is what Kay Warren is getting at in Dangerous Surrender and essentially what is all about, saying 'YES' to God before you know what the question is.  If I could, I would buy a copy for each of my Christian friends and pass them out.  Considering I can't do that, because I am on a 'mission' for my trip in December - I highly encourage you to get a copy of this book and read it!  If it does, just for ONE person what it has done for me - YIPPY!  Hooray!

I did not do an 'in depth' book report/review for you, all I did was highlight the quotes from the book that touched me (and there were a TONNE of them)!    My next post, will be 8 videos of Kay Warren speaking about this book....again, I highly encourage you to take the time to watch.  It could transform your life!

Here's the links to purchase:

• For my Canadian friends:  Buy it at Chapters/Indigo Online by clicking.
• For my American friends:  Buy it at Amazon.com by clicking.

DANGEROUS SURRENDER, KAY WARREN

Chapter 1 Peaking through the Cracks

"Would I surrender to God's call and let my heart engage with a cause I was pretty sure would include buckets of pain and sorrow?

Disturbed:

“If we're not disturbed by the world in which we live, we will be consumed with the trivial, the insignificant and the temporary. We will spend our days pursuing all the wrong goals, living by the wrong measurement of success, evaluating our legacy by the wrong standard."

Luke 12:48 NLT "Much is required from those to whom much is given."

Micah 6:8 God clearly tells us "to act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with (our) God."

The Developing Photograph:

"I had ignored the suffering of millions of people just because it made me uncomfortable or because I didn't know what to do about it."

"For you to become a seriously disturbed, surrendered person of faith, you will have to be willing to say yes in advance - to give God your answer before you've heard the question."

Ordinary People:

Paraphrased from page 27-28: "Great student - average grades, Grand tour pianist - average piano player, Miss America - no budding beauty, average in the looks department. Then she married a superstar who was always on top of everything. On the way to an event where she was speaking at, she began to cry and have a pity party asking God why he had 'made such a dreadful mistake'. Asking '"why didn't you make me better?" Then a song came on the radio called 'Ordinary People' and tears really flowed, but instead of self-pitying tears, they were tears of joy and peace. God chose ME to be an ordinary person! He cold have made me smarter, more talented, more beautiful if he had chosen to - but his hands lovingly shaped me just the way he wanted me to be.

Models of Surrender:

"I am the Lord's servant, and I am willing to accept whatever he wants" Luke 1:38 NLT

Surrender: Will you decide to say yes to God, even before knowing the full implications of what that yes may mean for you?

Chapter 2 The Kingdom of Me

"I had to trust that while I couldn't see where the steps of faith were leading me, I was walking on a firm structure that wouldn't let me fall. That's what it means to follow Jesus - saying yes and trusting that he won't let us fall, even when we can't see exactly where he's leading."

"It really isn't any of my business - or your business - what God does in someone else's life. My only business is to follow him"

"Here's the bottom line: Figuring out God's ways isn't any of my business. Following him is. Following Jesus is to offer to him all that you think you are, all that you really are, all that you think you are not, and all that you really are not - to be used in the way he chooses. It is stepping down from the throne of the Kingdom of Me and joining a new kingdom - the Kingdom of God. It's following him, even when following him makes no sense. I'm not there yet, but I'm on my way."

Surrender: Will you voluntarily surrender the keys to the Kingdom of Me and accept Jesus' dangerous invitation to deny yourself, take up your cross and follow him?

Chapter 3 Gloriously Ruined

"She showed me how to greet Joanna with warmth and kindness, how to kneel down next to her and look in the eye, how to place my arms around her and hug her, how to pray an ask for God's comfort, strength, and help to be given in this terrible situation. She spoke of the hope of heaven - that while this world held pain and sorrow and sickness for Joanna, there is a better world she could be a part of through faith in Jesus, who loves her"

"I wanted nothing more than to fall on the ground and scream and sob - wailing to God on this little girl's behalf. All I could see was a future without the guiding love and support of the parents who had brought her into this world. Where was the daddy who would be her protector? Where was the father who would swing her into the air and listen for her squeals of delight? Where was the father who would stand proudly at her wedding, giving her in marriage? Where was the mommy who would cuddle her in the night and sing her back to sleep when she had a bad dream? Where was the mommy who would teach her how to be a woman? I barely contained my sobs until I got back to our van, where I cried and cried. My friend and colleague Elizabeth and I clung to each other in terrible grief. Being seriously disturbed was becoming a way of life."

"You and I have the opportunity to be Jesus' hands and feet to these brothers and sisters, making them known by our love."

"Seriously Disturbed, Gloriously Ruined Club"

"What is a litmus test of your surrender and obedience to God is how you treat the least among us (see Matthew 25:40)"

"In what ways are you allowing God to rearrange your schedule, your finances, your affections, so that you can regularly interact with those he loves?

Surrender: "Will you let God "ruin" you, forever altering how you relate to others in your life and world?"

Chapter 4 Ready, Set, Stop

"He allowed me to feel the sting of being ignored by some people whom I had assumed would be there for me. My faith was being tested in the crucible of cancer."

"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colours. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way." James 1:2-4 MSG

"So be truly glad! There is a wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for a while. These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold - and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold. So if your faith remains strong after being tried by fiery trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honour on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world." 1 Peter 1:6-7 NLT

"I found peace in knowing that while I cannot control 'how long' I live, I can control 'how' I live. One of my mottoes is "Control the controllables and leave the uncontrollables to God."

"Knowing life's fragility causes me to be more intentional, more passionate, more convinced of the sweetness of this moment, and more convicted than before that I am here for a reason. I don't want to waste a second of the time I have been given."

"He comforts us in our troubles so that we can comfort others. When other are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us." 2 Corinthians 1:4

"Remember: our faith-life shows its true colours when put to the test. Learning through your own suffering that God is good and that he can be trusted will prepare you to face the suffering and evil you encounter in the lives of others."

Surrender: "Will you surrender your demand for God to order your life the way you want it to be ordered?"

Chapter 5 Exposing Evil

"But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are a kingdom of priests, God's holy nation, his very own possession. This is so you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light" 1 Peter 2:9 NKJV

"The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23

"Love your enemies, do good to them, and lend them without expecting anything back" Luke 6:35 TNIV

"The greatest weapon we have against evil is doing good in Jesus' name."

Surrender: Will you stop "changing the channel" and living in denial of the evil in our world?

Chapter 6 Mirrors Don't Lie

"Before we initiate God's love to hurting, suffering people, we must surrender our carefully cultivated illusions about the depth of our brokenness."

“Why does it matter if I've faced the evil inside of me? Why can't just start caring and serving others, regardless of what's wrong on the side of mine?"

"We must see ourselves, not as separate from others - better, more educated, more cultured, more sophisticate, more civilized, less sinful, less evil, less prone to violence, less likely to cause harm - but as identical to them in our capacity to do evil. Otherwise we end up serving others from a position of pride, congratulating ourselves for our noble sacrifices rather than coming alongside a fellow stumbler and offering not our wholeness but our brokenness."

"God in his amazing love and mercy enters into those caves of my inmost being, down to the deepest part of me where no other human being can enter, where no one else will ever know me. God enters into that place where there are no excuses, no pretensions, no false fronts, no hiding. There I cannot pretend to be anything other than what I really am and what I am not. There he sees completely the depravity of my heart in a way you will never see."

"God is the only one who can enter deep into the caves of your inmost being and not be terrified or repulsed by what he sees."

"He says to you, "I know it all and I still love you". Because you are known at the deepest level by God - where you filthiest thoughts and most reprehensible deeds are revealed - and because you have been offered forgiveness and liberation through our Saviour, Jesus Christ, you can authentically move toward the maturing knowledge that you're no different from the person living next to you. You need Jesus. I do too. Everyone does. This truth changes everything."

"The new, higher standard he institutes is this: the same yardstick you use to evaluate someone else will be used to evaluate you; therefore, be careful how harshly you point your finger at another struggling human being unless you want that same finger to point back at you."

"You don't have to pretend that you're better than anyone else and would never do what they've done."

Surrender: Will you surrender your denial about the depravity of your soul and your ability to do unspeakable evil?

Chapter 7 The Gift of Presence

"While she was speaking in Bengali, I spoke in English, believing that the God who made her could help her understand, if not my words, but the love with which I spoke them. "I am sorry you hurt! I'm so sorry that you are here, alone and dying in this place. I'm so sorry that your family is not here with you - that they abandoned you to face your last days by yourself. But you are not alone! God is with you! You matter to him, and you matter to me. My arms around you are his arms; as I am wiping your tears away with my fingers, these are his fingers; as I touch your face, know that it is his hands lovingly reminding you of how dear you are to him. He loves you so much he sent his Son, Jesus, so that you could spend eternity with him! And he has sent me to you today to hold you and tell you one more time how special you are to him."

"Of all the gifts that God could give us, he gave the greatest one - he gave himself. Now he expects us to do the same for others."

"When I enter a room or any situation, I bring him with me because he lives inside of me."

“For us as Christ-followers, this is our prime task as well - to make the invisible God visible in a world that doesn't yet recognize him. We are to live incarnationally - God with us, God in us. To do so is at the heart of living our faith."

"When you extend hospitality to Christian brothers and sisters, even when they're strangers, you make faith visible" 3 John 5 MSG

"What comforted me was the presence of family members and friends who were willing to sit with me, sometimes without saying a single word."

"If you are a believer in Jesus Christ, you already have within you what it takes to bring relief, hope and comfort to everyone you meet. You have Jesus inside you, and when you offer yourself, you're offering him."

"All of us have the same capacity for evil and the same capacity for goodness as the next person. When we allow evil to control us, we do monstrous, shameful things. When we allow the Spirit of God to control us, we can love sacrificially in ways that seem beyond our ability to do so."

"When members from my church are preparing to go on a short-term international mission trip, they frequently ask, 'What well we do while we're there?' I tell them, 'Perhaps the most important thing you do while there is just show up."

"What I'm suggesting is that in our hurry to do something, it's easy to rush past the people we're visiting. There will always be a need for action, for tangible solutions to complex problems. but as Christ-followers, let's be sure to be with people - to look them in the eye and listen to their story, to spend a few moments entering into their experiences, whether joyful or painful. This is how the invisible God becomes visible."

Surrender: Will you offer to others the greatest gift you possess - God living in you?

Chapter 8 A Deliberate Choice

"How can we pray for you today?"

"Compassion is choosing to share the pain of another. To do so runs counter to our natural inclination to protect ourselves from pain. It requires self-sacrifice and obedience to Jesus - as we do for others what he did for us."

"In suffer with somebody, we take into our own hands to suffer. We choose to do what we do not have to do, or even want to do; we walk, eyes wide open, into the pain of another human being and claim it as our own."

"For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. was in prison, and you visited me" Matthew 25:35-36 NLT

"Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me" Matthew 25:40 TNIV

"Proof of our love for Jesus is found.....in loving and serving the sick, the poor, the weak, and the marginalized"

"I Thirst"

"Choosing to suffer with proves our love for our Savior and at the same time proves to the least, the last, and the lost that there is a Savior who loves them."

"Choosing to suffer with is a powerful witness to being a Christ-follower. He chooses to suffer with me; I can now choose to suffer with a fellow human being for Jesus' sake."

"Are you beginning to understand that compassion is about making a decision?"

"expressing compassion is a deliberate choice"

"We are most like Christ when we choose to offer the gift of our presence and choose to absorb within ourselves the suffering of the least, the last and the lost. Are you looking for Jesus? That's where you'll find him."

Surrender: Will you freely choose to bear pain that is not your own?

Chapter 9 - An Unexpected Bond

"He gets angry at the devastation that sin has caused on our planet"

"It should have come as no surprise, then, that if I was going to love God deeply and passionately, it would automatically lead to a broken heart for me. There's no way to grow in loving him and not grow in having his heart for his world, leading directly into his sufferings. Radical internal changes occur when we become Christ-followers, and the changes will eventually spill over externally into how we live our lives."

"I often felt as though it all depended on my efforts, my work, my compassion. True, I never said that, and I'm not sure I was even conscious of how thoroughly I had given in to a 'savior complex,' but the effects of it were obvious in my life."

"I had to surrender my desire to save the world."

"When we ask the lord's blessing upon our drinking from the cup of wine at the Lord's Table, this means, doesn't it, that all who drink it are sharing together the blessing of Christ's blood? And when we break off the pieces of the bread from the loaf to eat there together, this shows that we are sharing together in the benefits of his body. No matter how many of us there are, we all eat from the same loaf, showing that we are all parts of the one body of Christ." 1 Corinthians 10:16-17 LB

Surrender: Will you let your pain - and the suffering of others you have chosen to bear - draw you into intimate fellowship with Jesus?

Chapter 10 - Linking Arms

"God has commissioned those in his eternal family to be his hands and feet in the world, to be his voice of love, to speak truth, to act justly, to combat evil, and to do good."

"Our mission is to care for the sick, the widows, the orphans - and to heal in Jesus' name."

"With eyes wide open to the inconsistencies, mistakes, and even sins of all of us who are part of Christ's church, I still embrace hi church with my whole heart."

"We don't go it alone. God has given us each other in a forever family called his church so that we do not face life by ourselves."

Surrender: Will you commit to playing your part in the body of Christ, his church, as the hope of the world?

Chapter 11 - Some May Die Today

"Being willing to say, "Whatever it takes" - and mean it - is dangerous."

"For most of us, dying for Jesus' sake is not something we will be asked to do, but in the deepest places in our souls, we must come to the place where we are willing to die if it serves God's purposes."

"It is possible to live a 'safe' life as a Christian - never really developing a rugged faith that is willing to take risks for Jesus' sake - but living in a protective bubble won't change the world."

"Most of us are called to pay a much smaller price, although each point of surrender can at times turn into high drama as we play tug-of-war with God: 'No, God, don't ask me to surrender that. I can't. I don't want to. Please don't ask for that.' Often as we keep praying, as we keep seeking, we know for certain that in order to remain in an intimate conversation with hi, that very thing is what we need to yield. Sometimes we must yield something as ordinary or common as our personal relationships. I have to be honest - surrendering all that we are to God does not always lead to peaceful relationships."

"Rick had always told me that someday God would use me in ways I couldn't imagine, but when it started to happen, the changes created a lot of discomfort for all of us. I was no longer the same person. There were times when my children felt as though they didn't know me anymore."

"These are the people who have changed me forever. They are the ones who have propelled me into moving beyond my comfortable life to embrace a more dangerous one. It's a life not without joy and pleasure - but it's a life that can no longer hope that someone else will answer God's call to care. I'm not the same person I was five years ago; my life truly reads like a 'before' and 'after' story."

"In the process of letting go of the life I knew and was comfortable with, God has made my life a miracle. This young girl and woman who was terrified that she would only ever be ordinary and average has seen God multiply the small 'lunch' yielded to him with trembling hands into bread that feeds others."

"He has made my life a sacramental offering through the wounds I've received in my life"

"Are you willing to become disturbed? Are you willing to become ruined? Are you willing to make a dangerous surrender? Will you expose and oppose evil wherever you find it? Will you join the battle? Will you make the invisible God visible by being his hands and feet in this broken world - by doing good?....Are you willing to risk it all for his sake? Will you say yes to God?"

Surrender: Will you risk your life and all you hold dear fr the sake of God's kingdom?

Dangerous Surrender, video review

You have to start somewhere....

Here's how it all began....


My name is Tara and I am a stay at home mom to our 8 year old son.   I work a few odd jobs here and there for some extra money at times, but for the most part my personal mission is to stay home to raise Noah until he's at an age that he doesn't need me to this capacity.


I always knew I wanted to do something more. I first acted upon my desires of wanting to help those less fortunate came when I was only 12 years old. I used my very own $20 and donated to the 'Feed the World' Campaign in 1984 and I still have the 'thank you' letter tucked away to remember this. You know, I didn't tell anyone I had done this.

Then in high school, I worked with children with Downs Syndrome.

Many years passed and I'm sure I had that burning desire, but life got in the way. Early 2007 was when the burning desire came back....it started when Oprah opened her school for little girls in South Africa, then when the first Idol Gives Back came out (the most touching moment was this video of Carrie Underwood singing I'll Stand by You).



Throughout 2007, I met my blogger buddies Angel, Vanessa, Nikki & Wendi online through our blogs and Red Letters Campaign. They were and continue to be inspirational – they are all AMAZING women. I stalked their blogs relentlessly.....learning of all that they did, do and continue to do. If you haven't already, I highly encourage you to visit their blogs (links found below). Then I got in contact with an old high school friend who told me (quoted from his email) “while we were in Cambodia, we met a really great local guy who brought us to one of the orphanages there. i got to play soccer with some of the kids. it was unbelievable. one of the best things i did.” I immediately thought, 'how cool, I'm gonna do that one day'.

Late 2007 to Summer 2008 was when my dreams started to take shape and my desire to "do more now" took shape. These months were particularly hard on me, because my husband and I were apart for 9 months. He had started a job (4 hours from home) and we waited and waited and waited for our house to sell. Life continued to be on hold. Our adoption – on hold. Being together – on hold. Wanting to do more – on hold. Moving – on hold. Life – on hold.

During the first 3 months, it was a pretty low time for me, another time in my life that I think I was very close to a deep depression, in fact I am probably in denial that I was in a deep depression. I missed Jacques so much it hurt. I would cry each Sunday when he would leave and cry each Friday when he arrived home safely. But during this time apart was when I found God. At first, I discovered that there was something 'greater than me'. I mean, I always believed in God but didn't necessarily follow his word, in fact, I didn't or hadn't ever owned a bible. It started off by watching 'The Secret', then rolled into 'A New Earth' but then became this deep fascination with my very first bible that I bought for myself.

I used to lie in bed at night wondering 'WHY me'? Why does all of this have to happen? Why can't I just GO somewhere to help someone? I was stuck in the 'Kingdom of Me' according to Kay Warren from Dangerous Surrender. God hasn't always made my path very easy, but I know now that he was preparing me for something greater than I'd ever know.

June 2008, we finally moved and our family was back together. I was so happy about this, I didn't have a care in the world. NOW, we could move forward with our adoption and my dreams. Life was finally off hold. We began going to a small church that we love. I began in my bible study and met some wonderful people. This is how I met Dianne and our hearts connected. I can't describe how happy and blessed I am to have a friend like her. We have so much in common.

Recently our family tried to adopt a 12 year old girl and when this broke down, so did I. I was an absolute MESS. Actually truth be told, I was well on my way to a deep depression and one phone call away from asking for medication.

After she moved out, we had several different reactions from people around us that left us feeling completely alone and abandoned. Even though I knew that I wasn't really alone, it still felt terribly lonely. But, knowing I had God with me at all times and that he had a much bigger plan for me than even I could recognize brought all the comfort I needed. In one email I received from a great friend, she suggested 'perhaps Jesus needs you to be broken. Maybe he won't fix you the way you think. Maybe the pieces won't glue back the same and it's just gonna take smaller broken-down shards to mold back into an entirely new vessel. Whoa - that's scary stuff! But he'll never let your pieces fall to the ground, he'll hold them in his hands while he works to put it all back together.' Each time my heart ached so much, I held onto her words, re-read them and kept repeating them to myself over and over.

I woke up on Jan 1, 2010 and decided that God would make it all better, I knew he could. It didn't change right away, but I decided that I would hold tight to my faith until I started to feel like a normal person again, away from the depression that was lurking in my back pocket.

January 4, 2010, Jacques returned to work while Noah & I had 2 more days until he returned to school. We got up and jumped right back into our old routine which included reading his devotionals, discussing his little devotional and having a little prayer. Then I got him to go downstairs and I read my adult devotional, continued reading my bible, said my prayers then went to my shelf of 'to read' pile of 7-8 books and tried to choose one. I chose 'Dangerous Surrender' by Kay Warren. I don't know why, but I just did (or so I thought). Once I began to read it, I couldn't put it down. It all started making sense why I chose this one, it was definitely a GOD THING that's for sure.

It was when I read "He allowed me to feel the sting of being ignored by some people whom I had assumed would be there for me. My faith was being tested in the crucible of cancer." that really hit home.  I mean, I wasn't faced with cancer but I had been faced with some devastating losses and my faith was indeed being tested through these trials.  What my friend had said weeks before this, about Jesus needing me to be broken so he could fix me differently – WOW - it was all starting to make sense.  From that moment on, I began to change.....

Since then, great things have happened. I began to feel happy again, as though a peace came over me all because I had my faith.  THAT very week, we went to visit our girl that we were supposed to adopt, had a great visit with much confirmation that we made the right choice, my son's school called to see if I wanted to work in the Kindergarten class (and get paid) plus we got some other great news that we can't share yet.

In December 2009, I had the opportunity of living vicariously through Dianne when she took her first mission trip to Haiti. I learned so much from her and was SO interested in doing all I could for her trip. We ended up raising $500 to buy rice for the school kids. Doing this fund-raising inspired me to do so much more.

Once they returned, Roland (the friend & his wife that Dianne traveled with) booked their trips for Dec 4-11, 2010. Roland emailed me and told me that he had booked my spot for this trip as well. I continued to resist....'but what if I can't find someone to watch Noah?', 'what if I can't afford to go?', 'what if, what if, what if?'.

I continued to read Dangerous Surrender and it began transforming the way I was looking at things. Everything that brought me to this moment in time all began making sense. God's plan and how he educated me through 2007, how he broke me down to make me what he needed me to be and now this, the opportunity to on my first mission trip.

January 8, 2010, Dianne and I went walking. We walked and this day was monumental and a day I will never forget. As we walked, I talked. I finally realized that I needed to say 'yes' in every way possible, to the mission trip and most importantly to God. So I did, this day I SAID 'YES'.

I am SO excited....I feel alive & free, better than I have felt in so long.  This reminded me of a  quote from Dangerous Surrender, by Kay Warren "What will this day hold? This day is fragile. It is sacred. There will never be another "first day in Africa". OKAY, for her it was her first trip to Africa and for me it will be Haiti, but still, I completely 'get' what she's saying. This is how I feel about this year as I count down to my first mission trip.  THIS whole year will be filled with many firsts for me, all having to do with living in my dream and feeling it become reality.


It's been a rough road to bring me to this fork in the bend, but I'm hear and without a doubt thrilled to have walked the path I did to bring me here.   I have describe this feeling like it's as though 'Gods hands were wide open to me and now they have narrowed to the path I'm supposed to be on.'

So this December 4-11, 2010, I will be in Haiti living my dream!  This is where it all started!